Today I spent a good bit of time rushing around getting ready for the arrival of an unwanted guest by the name of Earl. Hopefully he won’t actually make it here, but it’s going to be a near miss, nonetheless. While forced to wait in carpool for my son, I rolled down my windows, checked the latest forecast on my cell phone and closed my eyes for a breathing moment.

While living on the coast, I’ve seen a few hurricanes. Bonnie and Ophelia come to mind. Ophelia was another storm that wasn’t supposed to be “that bad”. A category 1 hurricane by the time she hit the shore of North Carolina, she lingered for hours, tearing up piers and ripping off roofs. I remember sitting up that night thinking how very wrong man can be when he tries to predict the will of God.

When I see the spectacular whirling disk of clouds that is a hurricane, I know there is a God. In fact, I would say these are my greatest moments of faith. What else could create such a massive force and send it spinning across the globe, crashing through our creations?

So today I watched the clouds spinning counterclockwise and thought of the huge storm they were a part of. I took a deep breath and remembered the story I wrote a couple of years ago. It was part of a competition called The Long Write in which several writers participated. We were given a prompt and a certain amount of time (two days, I think) to write a story. As you can imagine, the finished product was not highly polished. However, we got a lot of good stories, or at least kernels of ideas from it. I’m printing The Wheel in the same condition it was in when I turned it in for the contest. I’m off to batten down a few more hatches. Enjoy!

This is my breathing moment of the day. I wrote something that I know is good. It happens every now and then. You write a line and you know it captures something. So after I wrote it, I took a minute to breathe. Anyway, I wanted to share it with someone, and I figured, what the hell? If you read my blog, you’re a friend, and it might as well be you. So, here it is, an excerpt from my almost complete work-in-progress, ALWAYS FAITHFUL:

As she stood there in her dead husband’s home, his rings still on her finger and her gaze held by a man she could no longer deny her feelings for, Alicia realized that not all beginnings start at the same place, and she wondered where this path could lead her if she followed it.

It’s just a sentence, yes. But it’s kind of important to me. It’s the first sentence anyone but me has read of ALWAYS FAITHFUL, and I think it gets to the heart of the romance in the story, although that’s only one thread of many in this one.

I kind of really hope you liked it.

“Procrastination is the thief of time.” Edward Young, an eighteenth century British poet, may have said it first, but in my mind I’ll always attribute it to my high school chemistry teacher. I think it was the way he said it. “Procrastination is the…thief…of time.” Just like that. Whenever I’m tempted to procrastinate, I hear his voice in my head. Don’t remember a thing about chemistry or the proper use of test tubes, Bunsen burners and pipettes, but those words will always haunt me.

So when is procrastination no longer procrastination but a breathing moment? When is a breathing moment procrastination? I’ve been examining this question a fair amount as I get back into the whirlwind of school and its demands. With three kids in three different schools on three different schedules, I’ve got my work cut out for me. I foresee that my “breathing moments” are going to become even more important as the year progresses.

Will I have that guilty feeling I get when I’m procrastinating? As I sit on my front porch watching red and yellow and brown leaves fall from the maple and poplar trees, will I be able to forget two stories waiting to be edited, my as yet unfinished work-in-progress, PTO emails to be sent and two loads of laundry waiting to be folded? Will I be able to keep my breathing moments from becoming a short-lived thing of the past?

I have every intention of hushing that little voice of my old teacher whenever he pipes up. Shhh. I’m not procrastinating. I’m breathing.

Today:
Breathing Moment: Took my kids to the pool. One last hurrah before summer ended. I sat on the edge of the baby pool watching my three-year-old play and my six-year-old jump from the diving board. My ten-year-old is already back at school. He probably needs a breathing moment or two.
Greenpoints: Instead of throwing away the disposable plastic plates my kids used for breakfast, I washed them. It would have been easier to throw them out, and washing them sort of defeats the purpose of disposable plates, but even a couple of extra uses might help.

“When will your book be available in print?” People keep asking me this, and sadly, I don’t know for sure if SECRETS OF THE LOTUS will be available in print at all. That’s up to the publisher, Lyrical Press. Because they foot the bill for this book, it’s their business to decide if it’s worth their dime to make SECRETS OF THE LOTUS available in print. I would like to point out that SECRETS has received THREE favorable reviews. If you’d like to read these, here are some links:

Single Titles Review
Happily Ever After Review
Romance Book Scene Review

If you’re convinced by the reviews that my book has something to offer and you really do want to see it in print, purchase an e-copy at lyricalpress.com. That’s really the only way to show the publisher the book is worth something in someone’s opinion. SECRETS is also available from many other ebook retailers.

On the bright side, you can see my name in print now, if you want. My werewolf story “Black Dog Alley” is one of the many excellent stories featured in Liquid Imagination’s DREAMS AND SCREAMS anthology. DREAMS AND SCREAMS is available for purchase from Lulu.com here: LIQUID IMAGINATION’S DREAMS AND SCREAMS.

I haven’t been good about keeping you guys up to date on these, but I am practicing them. Anyway, here are my Breathing Moments and Greenpoints from today and yesterday.

BREATHING MOMENT:
Yesterday: I stopped to look at the moon shining on the water. It’s not full yet, so it must have been its angle in the sky that turned the creek outside my house into molten silver. Beautiful.
Today: The moment when I saw my son stand with the rest of his fifth grade class, I concentrated on breathing in and out for a moment. A little more than ten years ago, in the hospital, I held him in my arms in the hospital and wondered how on earth anything could be so beautiful and terrifying at the same time.

GREENPOINTS:
Yesterday: I didn’t start my car AT ALL! This is a big thing since my car is a gas-guzzling minivan.
Today: I turned off the lights in the kitchen during the evening hours when no one was there. It’s more convenient to leave them on, but we might as well save that electricity, right?

Just as I’m beginning to be discouraged, I get a little whiff of hope. So many books are written and published today, and then they languish forgotten on the imaginary shelves of Amazon’s Kindle bookstore. I have no real reason to believe SECRETS OF THE LOTUS won’t be one of those books. Remember Disney’s Chicken Little wishing on a star? “Come on. All I need is a chance!” I know I’m not the only writer out there that feels that way.

This week has been a week of mixed emotions in my writing life. From a rejection by an agent to being absolutely blown away by the reception my little Free Fiction page received (thanks in large part to a grassroots effort by a couple of my friends to spread the word, but still), I’ve been pretty well torn on how to feel about whether to even keep on keeping on. I’ve certainly got plenty of other things to spend my time on.

Then, out of the blue, I find a tweet (I’ve just started Twittering) about SECRETS. It got five hearts from Romance Book Scene! How awesome is that? Want to check it out? Here you go: Romance Book Scene Reviews SECRETS OF THE LOTUS. The author, Roni, who I swear I don’t know, calls my book, among other things a “sweet love story” and a “very nicely written contemporary romance”.

Maybe my writing career isn’t a hopeless loss, after all.

I’ve just added two new pages, About Me (my bio) and Free Fiction Page. I’m planning to pull out some of my older stories that are no longer in print or online anywhere and put them up on the Free Fiction Page. I might even add a note about the journey the stories have made. Right now, I’m featuring “Your Mandala”, which is one of my favorite short stories ever. You’ll find the menu on my Home page.

GREENPOINTS: Scheduled my errands in a circular route so I’d use less gas. Don’t really know how much of a difference this one made, but it was harder to do than it sounds!

BREATHING MOMENT: Admiring the crepe myrtles. They’re beautiful in NC this year. Take a moment to have a look.

Breathing moment: Watching my three-year-old chase bubbles on a salt breeze.
Greenpoint: Turned off the water while brushing my teeth instead of letting it run.

P.S. This is something new I’m going to try to do every day. Since my goal is to appreciate every breath of life, I’m going to take a “breathing moment” whenever possible. Since living green is important to me, I’m going to give myself “greenpoints” for doing something environmentally friendly every day. Hopefully everytime I do something like this, it’ll become more of a habit.

School starts next week for one of my kids, which means summer is almost over and I’m looking back to see what I’ve accomplished. I had some really big goals, but I’m afraid I had to narrow them down a bit. I did manage to:

1. Potty train my daughter! (Yay!)
2. Finish the first draft of my work-in-progress. Now the editing begins.
3. Start shopping around another completed manuscript. It’s with an agent now. I’m trying not to bite my fingernails off while I wait!
4. Spend a lot of time with my kids. My oldest is ten and starting fifth grade next year. I know if I blink for too long, he’ll be heading off to college, so I’m trying to keep my eyes wide open and enjoy every second he can stand with me.

This season wasn’t a total wash. I’m refreshed and ready for the fall. My youngest starts preschool next month, which will leave me three mornings a week free for writing. I have plans to make the most of those mornings and maybe get away from the late nights. Late nights plus early mornings do not equal a happy mom, wife, writer, editor or friend!