Extend your love bubble

The blessing/curse of the empathic poet is that you are constantly searching for meaning in the pain of life. It’s not comfortable. Sometimes you have to ponder for a loooooooooong time before you come to any conclusion and sometimes it happens like a lightning strike.

That happened to me today. I almost literally stumbled across a truth about life. And I think it revealed to me the purpose behind the thing we all want in spite of how vulnerable it makes us.

Love.

How did it happen?

I was on my way to work. About a block away a young man carrying a rake who was obviously getting ready to work in one of my neighbors’ yards (in the 95-feels-like-150-degree heat) stumbled. He recovered quickly and looked around to see if anyone had seen. I immediately pretended to be looking straight ahead, not at him at all, and sent him a reassuring thought. Didn’t see anything. You’re safe.

I immediately wondered. Why did I think “You’re safe”? And I realized that’s what we all want. As we stumble through this world full of sharp spikes and tripwires, all we really want is to feel safe. And that’s nearly impossible to achieve, especially in this day and age when you just might be caught on camera and if you are, your stumble might go viral.

I recently made a playlist of songs that make me feel like everything is going to be okay. My life sometimes feels completely messed up. I have even been glad I only have another 30-40 years of it (if I’m lucky). And my life is a good one. I have people to love and who love me. They cushion some of the blows, guard me against some of the spikes, and pick me up when I trip.

And that’s why I think I’ve figured out what the purpose of love is. Love is like a bubble around us, one that gives us a sense of security. Safety. The thing is, if we do love right, it can give others that same sense. Even those we don’t know. Imagine extending your bubble of love to people around you. There are people in need all around us, whether they’re tripping over a rake or hurting for some deeper reason. Maybe you can’t actually help them. Maybe you don’t have resources beyond what you need yourself.

But instead of laughing when someone stumbles or posting someone’s misfortune on the internet for “hits” or “likes”, you can send them a reassuring thought. “It’s okay. I got you. You’re safe.”

Imagine if we could all feel safe?

Photo by Michelle Garren-Flye

Poem: Favorite Song

Yesterday I wrote a poem. It’s the first in a series of poems that will concentrate on happiness.

I’m an autobiographical poet. When I write poetry, it comes from inside me. Sometimes it’s like I’ve slapped blood and guts onto the page (or my computer screen…side note: don’t do that). I have poems I’ve written that I probably won’t ever want anyone to read. I’ve deleted poems after writing them, not because they were bad, but because they were too good.

They showed too much of me.

What I’m getting at is that I often dwell on my dark places. Not always, but too much.

I’m going to do my best to focus on the good stuff in my life from now on. I’m starting small.

Favorite Song
By Michelle Garren-Flye

It's that moment when your favorite song begins
and your stomach that had been so heavy?
(weighed down by worries
about the kids
and parents
and bills
and the rats in the basement?)
—all of it disappears
pushed back into the ether that houses those things—
the ugly things that snatch pieces from our hearts
and leave us lonely (and broken if we let them)...
But it's all gone with that first note
and you and the song are together—
the one thing that lifts you away,
the only thing that can.
Probably the cover? Photo by Michelle Garren-Flye

I want. (TMI?)

I have a feeling this is gonna be one of those weird stream-of-consciousness posts that might actually be TMI but nobody’s probably gonna read all of it anyway, so what the hell? Caution to the wind, live in the moment, seize the day…

I’ve been thinking a lot about being happy where I am. It’s hard. I don’t want to be happy here because here is prosaic. I want poetry. I want flower paths and sea breezes and to dance among the stars.

I want. And I think it’s okay to want. I think it’s okay to work toward the things you want. But it’s also essential to appreciate the things in your life that are already good. They might be prosy instead of rosy, but they’re still cool.

That’s why I’m dancing more. Even if it’s in my bookstore and not in the night sky tripping through the stars. And when I walk my dog, I stop to take pictures of flowers along the way. They might not exactly line my path, my steps may not be softened by their petals, but they’re still beautiful. And when a breeze lifts my hair and cools my neck, I close my eyes and imagine I’m standing on the deck of a sailboat in the middle of the sea. Even if I’m mowing my lawn.

None of this means I don’t still want the things I want. I’m fifty-two years old and I haven’t yet achieved my dreams. Does that mean I won’t? Nope.

Maybe I’m just taking longer to get there so I can enjoy the journey.

A flower from my walk. Photo by Michelle Garren-Flye

Poetography: Not My Gardenia

Not My Gardenia

By Michelle Garren-Flye

Arrested by your scent on my walk

I look longingly your way—

but you’re not my gardenia!

No matter how you beckon and call

or raise my hopes, I know:

you’ll never be mine to sniff…

No, you’re not my gardenia at all.

Go on, keep your invitation.

I won’t listen anymore!

You’ll never be my gardenia.

Better not to have this conversation

about what can never be…

But who am I kidding?

I’m cursed to eternal damnation.

How to beat this craven desire

to add you to my garden,

to have you as my own?

Oh, how to put out this lit fire?

Will you help me please?

It’s not disingenuous

when I really mean to inquire.

Photos and poem copyright 2022 Michelle Garren-Flye

National Poetry Month, Day 25, Verse 25

I think this is the fourth year in a row that I’ve done some sort of self-inflicted poetry challenge on here. Every year, I wonder why. Why do I want to add one more thing to my to-do list?

This year, my focus (that word again) has shifted a little internally. Why do I almost always only write poetry with illustrations now? This renga is a perfect example of how it might be easier to just write the poem. By the time I’ve moved on to the next verse, I’ve forgotten what was in the one before.

But this verse is an illustration of what I love about writing illustrated poetry. Poetry is everywhere. Even in a tiny blade of blooming grass.

Poem and illustration copyright 2022 Michelle Garren-Flye

National Poetry Month, Day 23, Verse 23

I’m better at capturing flora than fauna, so the little critter in this one caught me off guard. I didn’t even notice him until I started drawing. He seemed perfect for this spot in the renga, though. One of those “happy accidents” that happens sometimes.

Poem and illustration copyright 2022 Michelle Garren-Flye

National Poetry Month, Day 22, Verse 22

All I wanna do is write poetry.

And draw pretty pictures.

lol

Poem and illustration copyright 2022 Michelle Garren-Flye

National Poetry Month, Day 21, Verse 21

I’m really loving my new keyword/motto “Focus”. I’m a mom all the time, a writer and poet constantly, and a business owner when I can lol. So focus can be a challenge but is important in every aspect of my life. I’m also an amateur photographer, so I know what happens when you take pictures that are out of focus. They suck.

Most of my illustrations for this renga come from photos I shot on my iPhone while walking my dog. Very few of them were actually in focus lol. Which makes this new word of mine all the more pertinent. When I turn the pictures into illustrations, it’s like I’m improving the focus. Like this one.

Illustration and poem copyright 2022 Michelle Garren-Flye

National Poetry Month, Day 15, Verse 15

As it is tax day here in the States, I’m betting many of us have done a lot of searching for the insignificant…but that’s not what the poem is about. 😉

Poem and illustration by Michelle Garren-Flye

Halfway point makes me wonder. What will I do when this is done?

National Poetry Month, Day 14, Verse 14

I just re-read what I have so far. It’s actually quite good. I may have to re-write here and there.

Poem and illustration copyright 2022 Michelle Garren-Flye