The Day After The Romance Girls Went Goblin…

So the candy’s been collected and is now on the top of my fridge. The costumes have been relegated to the dress-up trunk and the kids are at school, hopefully learning something after staying up too late last night. And I’m taking a breathing moment.

I am so very grateful for everyone who entered my Halloween drawing. It was a wonderful experience getting messages from Greece, Australia and all over the U.S. I mean, how much cooler than to be able to say I had international visitors on my blog. I hope some of you will come back, maybe even take a leap of faith and read my books. And don’t forget that in December I have a lot of surprises planned, including another (and even better) giveaway!

And yet, when I pulled the name out of the hat, I couldn’t have been happier at the name of the person on it. Of all the people who have supported my writing career, this lady has been one of the most faithful. She not only subscribes to my blog, she actually reads it, and she’s even mentioned me on her own blog once or twice. She even reads my books. Heck, her DAD even read one of my books!

And so, drumroll please…Jennifer Reno, you are the winner of my Romance Girls Gone Goblin Halloween Giveaway! Congratulations, my friend!

A Special Breathing Moment

Take one today. Remember. I am.

Post Irene Update

I’ve been trying to organize my thoughts since we got our power back after Hurricane Irene. It’s harder than it sounds. I can’t honestly say I’ve ever been through an experience quite like Irene. Early, early on Saturday morning I woke and lay awake hearing the wind and various thumps from outside. I knew those thumps were trees coming down. I’ve heard that final, horrifying sound of a tree dying before. These were different, though. These thumps were near and far and I had no real idea when one might crash through the roof of my house. When the power went out at 4:45 a.m., I pretty much gave up sleeping and just listened and prayed.

The gray-washed light of Saturday morning brought no real relief. The water in the creek was higher than I’ve ever seen it. I alternated watching it and waiting for it to come over our retaining wall and keeping a close eye on the swaying hundred foot tall pines in our front yard. I don’t know exactly how long the eye wall of Irene hovered a mere forty miles away from my home, but I do know the winds and rain continued until well past dinner time on Saturday. I finally realized it was over when I heard a bird cheeping outside. Peering out the window I saw him sitting on the railing beside my steps, fluttering his wings and chirping indignantly at the sky. I couldn’t help but smile because his feelings exactly echoed mine.

On Sunday we realized how lucky we were. Trees were down all around us. Trees blocked roads, smashed houses and littered yards. Homes were flooded not far away. Nobody had power. Generators and chainsaws provided a white noise for five days after. You can still hear the chainsaws and wood chippers, but almost everyone has power again thanks to the utility companies who worked tirelessly to restore it. I’ve had power and cable for going on three days and have logged on to update my blog at least six times. I couldn’t find the words.

You see, I thought I was salty. I thought I had been through a hurricane before. I thought I was a tough Eastern North Carolinian (I’ve lived here for six years now) who could weather the storm. But I’ve never seen a storm like Irene. And she was mild compared to some. Locals still talk about Fran and we all know what Katrina did. My heart goes out to the people on the Gulf Coast who are now dealing with Tropical Storm Lee. Heavy rain could fall there for 36 hours and thousands are already without power. Even as I say a little prayer for those affected by Lee and those worse affected than me by Irene, I’m keeping a close eye on Katia. Too soon to tell if she’s coming our way, but I have no desire whatsoever to go through another hurricane.

And now that I’ve found the words to express my dismay about tropical storms, it’s time for my HONEOWP update. September is Hunger Action Month, so I’m donating my royalties to my local food bank. Even when natural disasters are few and far between, there are plenty of hungry people out there. Consider making a donation to your local food bank this month. And if you want me to donate more royalties to my food bank, buy my books!

Still waiting to hear about August’s royalties to know what my final donation to Oceana will be, but I have decided to include my $200 prize money for my story “Life After”, which won third place in Hyperink’s Romance Anthology Contest. If you’d like to purchase the anthology and read my story, you can find it on Amazon (Kindle format) here: The Best of All Sins: Stories of Love and Heartbreak or on Hyperink’s website (pdf format). If you read it, please consider writing a review on Amazon!

Stay safe everybody, and take a breathing moment when you can.

The Sounds of Silence

Consider this during your next breathing moment. Have you ever noticed how many different sounds silence has? Or maybe I should say “qualities” instead of “sounds”. In the past twenty-four hours I have witnessed several different silences.

Yesterday morning I walked out with my children chattering around me into a silent, somewhat overcast morning. I paused because the silence reminded me of something. After a moment of listening, I realized what it was. The silence of the world around me was the silence I’ve felt before. Right before a storm. It occurred to me that Irene isn’t far away and is forecast to hit the North Carolina coast. Maybe that was the silence I was “hearing”.

Of course, everyone along the Eastern Seaboard has their earthquake story. Mine is a little different, and it was my husband who actually gave me the words to express it. I felt the tremor in the earth and stood up because I was at that moment sitting under some shelves. I wasn’t even certain what I’d felt was an earthquake because I live in eastern North Carolina. We just don’t have earthquakes here. Maybe it was the construction site down the road or maybe one of my kids had dropped something. More likely, too, a large truck had passed by. But in the few seconds of silence that followed the tiny trembling of my cabinet doors, I noticed something. A very subtle feeling that something wasn’t quite right.

This morning as I straightened the house, I noticed another type of silence. One of my children has returned to school already. Another one goes back later this week and my daughter’s preschool doesn’t start until after Labor Day, but already my house has assumed that cloak of silence that it gets when your children are away somewhere safe, doing something productive. This silence has a waiting contentment to it. It’s a silence I always forget when my kids are home for the summer, but I welcome it back in the fall.

I apologize for the recent silence of my blog. Life gets in the way sometimes, but take a breathing moment today and listen to the silence.

The Paths of the Heart (and a HONEOWP update), plus WINTER SOLSTICE only nine days away!

I’ve just come back from a long breathing moment. A vacation of sorts. We spent several days in Chapel Hill, N.C., while my boys went to lacrosse camp. While they were in camp, I tromped around the University of North Carolina’s campus in the hundred degree heat, dripping with sweat. And I loved every minute of it.

I graduated from UNC-Chapel Hill way back in the early nineties. I still remember the first time I set foot on that campus. It was in the spring and I was either a junior or senior in high school. My high school newspaper The Broadcaster had received several awards, including one for a story I wrote. The awards presentation itself is forgettable. But the moment I saw UNC is not. I fell wholeheartedly in love and I knew I wanted to go there more than anything else.

I still love that school. I spent six years there, walking every path it had. I know it like the back of my hand. I met my husband there, I got my first real job there in the R.B. House Undergraduate Library. Every step I made on that campus is part of my heart and I can walk them every day if I just close my eyes.

From Chapel Hill, I went home. The mountains of North Carolina. I walked the streets of my old hometown, Brevard, which has changed way more than UNC. But if I look close, I can find my footprints on the old sidewalks. Many of the storefronts are the same, although the shops behind them are vastly different. There is no dime store or Book Nook. The library I worked in for six years has moved to a much larger facility down the street. The movie theater is still there, as is the McDonald’s. And although Varner’s drugstore has a different name, the grilled cheese still melts on my tongue.

Those are the paths of my heart that run deepest. As I listened to a bluegrass band playing on Main Street, I looked at the sidewalk and remembered the times I’d walked or ridden my bike right over that same spot. I drove past my best friend’s house and remembered the hours I’d spent there with her, dreaming and talking, laughing and making messes in the kitchen. And I drove past the first house I ever called home. I looked right at the windows that used to look in on me as I slept during my youngest years.

We all have these paths in our heart. I cherish mine, even though the paths I walk most are the ones on the surface. I always know the deeper ones are there, and I can get to them whenever the pangs of homesickness strike.

Forgive the sentimentality of this post. I am, at heart, a romantic, so I can’t really help it. 🙂

HONEOWP Update: $25 donated to Bite-Back, Shark and Marine Conservation. August charity, continuing in the vein of beach conservation, is Oceana: Protecting the World’s Oceans. If you’re taking a beach trip this August, breathe in the salt air and think about what the world would be like if the water became too polluted to be near, or if the wildlife of the oceans were wiped out. If you’ve enjoyed the beaches at all this summer, consider giving something back to either of these charities.

WINTER SOLSTICE COUNTDOWN: Nine days!

EDIT: Oops. Turns out Bite-Back doesn’t take direct donations. So I purchased something from their shop and made July’s donation to Oceana, instead. My apologies for not reading their website more closely!

Breathing in the heat

Have you ever really tried to breathe in 90 degree humid heat? I’m relearning the technique. Today I walked outside to check the mail and was a little stunned by the utter stillness. I think the heat at that time was about 92 degrees Fahrenheit. And while it’s not as muggy as it will be later in the summer, it didn’t take me long to break out into a sweat. In spite of this, I stood for a minute listening to the silence. A big fat black bumblebee buzzed my head, then buzzed back, probably attracted by the sun glinting off my silver hairs. But other than the bumblebee and me, there might have been nothing else alive for miles.

And I breathed.

I’ve been breathing all along, although I haven’t updated my blog in a while. My daughter’s birthday was yesterday and we had a blast celebrating with her. And today was her last day of preschool for the year. Caught me off guard and I was just a little stunned to realize another school year (her first) is drawing to a close.

Breathe in, breathe out.

Of course, the end of the school year brings with it all the kids activities and projects and parties that make memories special later on. I’m loving it. I’m enjoying it. I’m breathing.

Through all this, I’m attempting to get myself ready for the RWA Nationals in New York (yippee! Can’t wait!) and proof the galleys of WINTER SOLSTICE. (I’ll have some thoughts about WINTER SOLSTICE and what I’m learning about my own writing next week.)

And to top it all off, I am the guest blogger on Lyrical Press, Inc.’s blog this Friday! If you’d like to stop by and say hello, I’d love to “see” you there. I’ll post a link on Friday, but that may be the last you’ll hear from me. What will my topic be? I’m thinking of doing something about my experience as PTO president this year.

Keep breathing!

The Roads Not Taken

Today as I traced my familiar path through my neighborhood on the way home from the store, I noticed something. A side road. It struck me that though I’ve lived in this neighborhood for going on two years now, I’ve never gone down that particular side road.

How odd.

On impulse I turned down the road and drove slowly through this spur of my neighborhood I’d never explored (call it a breathing moment). Not much to see, really, except some pretty houses and lovely azaleas, much the same as the main road. A few people picking up storm debris, again something I can find right next door to my own house. Still, it was a road I’d never taken, and it actually looped right back around to the main road after a pleasant meander.

I don’t really think I’ve discovered anything new about Robert Frost, but it did occur to me that there are probably lots of life side roads that we never bother exploring. Most of us probably picture our road through life much as we picture our route to the grocery store. Main roads only, ignoring the side roads. I know I pictured my career path that way. Write a book, edit the book, obtain an agent, get a publishing contract. But lo! What roadblock was that in my way? No agents interested. A side road beckoned, and I found Lyrical Press there.

Was the path I chose something like the side road I took this morning? Maybe. Lots of the same scenery, and it led me back to the main road eventually.

A Good Day for a Party

Last Sunday my son turned eleven years old. I still remember the day we brought him home from the hospital. Warm, spring, flowers everywhere. To this day I think of that day whenever I see dogwoods.

In about fifteen minutes five of his best friends will arrive to celebrate his birthday. This is the first moment I’ve sat down today, and I’m taking one of my more and more rare breathing moments. When I finally sat down today, I remembered something about that day we brought my first baby home from the hospital. I remember being excited, concerned because he looked so little in the rear-facing carseat, sore from the c-section I’d had a few days before, and really, really happy.

The one thing I don’t remember is doubt. I never doubted I could be a parent. Not at that time, anyway. Of course I had no doubts! I hadn’t made any mistakes yet. Since then I’ve had numerous doubtful moments. Am I a good parent? Am I ruining my child? Why does he behave so badly when I love him so much? Why do I?

Today I realized something. I have to approach each new day with the same attitude I had when I was a brand new parent who’d made no mistakes yet. Every day is new and mistake-free, and all I can do is work to keep it that way.

A day to breathe

Yesterday was my birthday. I began my fifth decade on this earth (that does not mean I’m 50 years young, look it up). When my husband asked what I wanted for my birthday, I told him I wanted a day to spend exactly the way I wanted. And bless him, he gave me exactly that. He had the day off, so he got up and got the kids ready for school, then took me out for coffee. We walked around our little town (accompanied by our 3-year-old because I wanted to bring her), shopped a little (he bought me a lovely beaded necklace), and picked up sandwiches for lunch. (We took them home to eat because my daughter was tired by this time.) That afternoon, he helped me hang birdfeeders (two for songbirds, two for hummingbirds) and plant strawberries. Then he made me taco salad for dinner and we ate ice cream cake with the kids.

Who could ask for a better day? I’ll remember it every time I put on my necklace or look out at the birdfeeders or (hopefully) eat a strawberry from my plant. And with every memory I’ll take a moment to breathe and be thankful for what I have.

This is a great time for us to remember to breathe. All you have to do is look at the news to see why breathing every day is important. The tragedy in Japan jolted me from my complacency. The horror over there is something I cannot escape. And it’s a reminder that we are never guaranteed tomorrow. Whether you’re one or forty-one, tomorrow is something you can’t totally count on.

Take a moment today and breathe. Hug someone you love, smell a flower, watch a sunset, listen to the rain. And breathe.