Yep. I had my live this morning at 11 a.m. I had a couple of people on it. I read a few poems. I mostly embarrassed myself. And to make it all better, I have preserved said live as a reel on Instagram. You can view it here: https://www.instagram.com/p/CvC2kWGuEQY/
Poetry can be difficult to sell. I understand that. It took me years to realize I not only love reading it, I love writing it. And when I buy a book of poetry, it’s most likely going to be a book of classics. Old favorites like Robert Frost and Emily Dickinson. Although there are still some living poets who can tempt me to read their work.
These are the poets who are famous in their own lifetime. I’ve read their work, and it’s terribly good, enough to make me feel inadequate in a truly awful way I don’t feel when I read my old favorites. I think that’s because my old favorites are legends and my new favorites will be legends. Seeing that happen is like witnessing something being born. Messy. Beautiful. Frightening.
I read my poetry and I know I’m not there. Maybe someday though. Until then, it is what it is.
You’re wearing the white dress you could never afford until you thought you were too old, with lacy sleeves and frills and pink ribbons.
Yesterday I saw a sign that said “Live like someone left the gate open.” It summoned to mind a dog running like crazy, sniffing everything he’d never been allowed to sniff, peeing freely wherever he wanted. Yeah, it’d be nice to live life that way.
Today, I saw a meme of a sign that read “Whatever you do today, do it with the confidence of a 4 year old in a batman t-shirt.” And I thought, yes. That’s what I need to do.
I’m a writer.
That does not mean I’m famous.
The publishing world is not designed for people like me. I know this. I am nothing but a middle-class white woman who hasn’t had any real hardship in her life. There’s nothing remarkable about me to make me stand out from the crowd.
I am everywoman.
I can string words together, sometimes even brilliantly. I know the basic rules of grammar (don’t ask me about who/whom though) so I can edit my own work and there won’t be any egregious errors. I also have a pretty decent vocabulary—hence egregious.
I’m a good writer, but I’m still everywoman.
I remember how excited I was when my first book was published. It was a good little romance. I still think it is. I’ve gone back and re-read it without flinching. Much. It was traditionally published by an ebook publisher. In fact, it came out in July 2010. It’s been out for thirteen years.
I’m still not famous.
Since 2010, I’ve had two more traditionally published ebooks (both romance). But I have self-published ten romances, a romantic fantasy trilogy, two children’s books, a young adult book, a comic book, and most recently, seven books of poetry.
Somebody left the gate open.
So here I am, a self-published, relatively unknown writer, frolicking along on the roadside where I’m not supposed to be, publishing books like I’m a 4-year-old who believes fiercely that I can become a superhero—or at least pee anywhere I want to. To make it even better, I now own a bookstore and I try my best to encourage people to try other writers than those embraced by the publishing world.
Because there are more stars out there than those you see at first glance. Some of us just aren’t given the opportunity to shine.
Are you sure you wish to hear my tale? It’s really only about me.
From “Han River” by Michelle Garren-Flye
Just a dandelion, really. Photo by Michelle Garren-Flye. Copyright 2023
I won’t lie. Instagram Lives are not my thing. It’s disquieting thinking strangers could be listening to me. It’s even more nerve-wracking thinking one of my friends could be on there. In fact, if I’m looking at the screen, I’ll see who’s watching.
It’s very different from recording myself reading poetry and putting it up. That live feedback is sort of shocking.
Why is it different from a live audience? I mean, I’m terrified of those, too, but somehow the online lives are worse. I guess it’s the faceless aspect of it. I have no idea if you’re laughing or crying or bored or even sleeping. Whatever’s going on on the other end of the Instagram line is a mystery to me.
All I can do is present the poetry I wrote as best I can and hope you like it.
At 11 a.m. Sunday.
Today I’m drawing yellow. Is it love or just spring?
From “Today I’m Drawing Yellow” by Michelle Garren-Flye
Forget my complicated relationship with Amazon for a bit. Right now, as we speak, my new book of love poetry, Where the Sidewalk Begins, is totally free for your Kindle. It’ll be that way until Sunday, and on Sunday at 11 a.m. I’m going to go live on Instagram and read parts of my book.
Which means if you want to read the book and request a poem to be read, you can do it.
Or you can read the book and ask me questions about it.
So you got some homework to do, and actually, so do I. Because I have a mind like a steel…tablespoon. It fills up quickly and stuff sloshes out. So the poetry I wrote and carefully selected and formatted and made into a book might have been forgotten by now, lol. And definitely any inspiration behind it. l
Tomorrow I’ll talk a little about why I’m a bit scared of the idea of going live. And why I’m going to do it anyway.
Dare I take that first step, feel heel strike hard stone, face the rest of my life…alone?
From “Where the Sidewalk Begins” by Michelle Garren-Flye
Last year one of the local bars held a singles meet-and-greet where people were given their choices of cups. Red for in a committed relationship, green for available and yellow for “It’s complicated.”
I was interviewed for a local television news story last week. If you’d like to watch it, you can here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X5Rr4vjwxjk&t=15s. The reporter was young, enthusiastic and very, very capable. I admired her. She asked me a lot of insightful questions about bookselling. One of those questions was something like how did I feel about Amazon.
I’m not sure I answered her question very well, because, to be honest, my relationship with Amazon requires a yellow cup.
It’s complicated.
As a bookseller, do I resent Amazon? Not really, honestly. Amazon fulfills an entirely different purpose from what I do. I order supplies for my store from Amazon because I can find good deals, compare products easily and, quite honestly, it makes my life easier. At the end of the year, for instance, when I need to find receipts, it’s much easier if everything is on Amazon instead of a few here and a few there.
Does Amazon affect my business? Again, that’s complicated. I mean, yeah, probably. I don’t know what it was like being a bookseller before Amazon, though. And I don’t sell new books, at least not new bestsellers. I sell used books and local authors. And no, Nicholas Sparks isn’t one of “my” authors lol. My authors sell their books here at the store on consignment, which means if the books sell, they get a check.
Now, that brings me to a more interesting question. As a local author who publishes her books and sells them on Amazon’s self-publishing platform KDP, how do I feel about Amazon?
If I cared enough to dig into my true feelings about it, I’d probably resent them more. Their algorithms often hide independent authors like myself. The pitiful amount of royalty I receive from each sale on Amazon takes a while to add up to a measurable sum. I have tried their “marketing”, but it amounts to giving away books or paying more for each purchase due to empty “clicks” than I get from the sale.
Still, Amazon is exceedingly fair in their pricing for author copies and their system is incredibly easy to use. I currently have twenty-six personal titles on my KDP Bookshelf, and I have also used KDP to publish all the literary magazines for my store. When I am asked for advice on how to self-publish, I send authors to Amazon without a single qualm.
I got a little sidetracked with this post. I started out to tell you Where the Sidewalk Begins, my book of love poems, is now available on Amazon in Kindle, paperback and hardcover. But I got distracted thinking about my feelings. Anyway, starting tomorrow and running through Sunday, Where the Sidewalk Begins is FREE on Kindle. And on Sunday at 11 a.m., I’m going to do another live poetry reading from the book.
I dreamed I fell in love with none other than the moon…
BREATHE: Michelle Garren-Flye 