28 days and the dreaded subject

Sorry to take so long between posts. Last time I posted it was forty days until publication of my book. Now it’s a mere twenty-eight and will probably be twenty-seven by the time I get this posted.

Twenty-eight days left until publication of my book. Four weeks. Four groups of seven days. One lunar month. Holy cow.

Okay, so it’s about time I addressed the subject I’ve been avoiding. Sex. There’s a sex scene in my book. There! I said it, it’s out there! Whew.

Sex was a really hard thing for me to write about. It’s a part of all our adult lives and a driving force behind our world, but it’s still taboo in polite adult conversation. I’ve never been one to believe in free love or anything like that, but I do believe that loving sex between committed adults is a wonderful and rewarding thing.

So how come it’s so difficult to write about?

Well, part of my hesitancy arose from who I suspected would read my book. My family, friends and fellow parents. The idea of the people I love reading a sex scene I wrote didn’t really appeal to me. With this in mind, I determined to gloss over the whole thing. I could write a modern, realistic romance and close the bedroom door when the time came, right?

Evidently not. One of my first readers complained to me that if I expected people to read 60,000 or so words, I needed to provide a payoff somewhere in there. Resigned, I started looking at ways to write sex without embarrassing myself.

I read multiple articles about how to write about sex. One of my favorites was coincidentally by one of my favorite authors, Steve Almond. His lighthearted approach to many a subject has made me laugh out loud, smile thoughtfully or nod in agreement. I’ll admit, this one made me blush a little, but the advice I gleaned from it was invaluable. You can read it here: Writing Sex by Steve Almond.

I found and read article after article about writing about that most important of our creative functions. Most all of them boiled down to two things. First, don’t be gratuitous. The sex should serve a purpose for the storyline. Evidently, sex can even reveal something about character. Yes, I thought, I can use the sex scene to develop my two main characters, to reveal something about them that the reader wouldn’t know if the scene took place behind a closed door. Working from that angle helped me loosen up. I was actually fascinated by how much the scene really did reveal in the end.

However, it was the second point many of the articles brought up that I clung to like a life preserver as I wrote my scenes. What was that point? Simply put, it’s not really advisable to try to get too creative with your descriptions of the actual act of sex, and it’s almost impossible to say anything original about it, anyway. In the end, it’s a pretty simple process most of your readers are probably going to be familiar with. Yes, I thought. My readers know what I’m talking about. It’s like when you describe a sunset in too much detail. A sentence or two of actual description is really too much. We’ve all seen sunsets. What’s important is what your characters do and feel when they see the sun set. Same as with sex. (As a side note, there actually is a description of a sunset in my book, so go figure.)

So how did I manage to write about sex and not embarrass myself? I’m not sure I did. The process was extremely difficult, and I wound up with a scene that probably won’t knock anybody’s socks off (and if it does, I’m pretty sure I don’t want to know about it), but in my heart I know I remained true to myself and my characters. And as a writer, that’s what’s most important.

(Another important point: it’s now past midnight, so that means it’s actually 27 days until publication.)

T minus 40 days. And counting.

Yep, I’m counting. Forty days until the publication of my first book. Cool. Not much going on professionally right now, though my life is very, very busy. I did get a chance to go hear the very talented Nicholas Sparks speak on Saturday. Special thanks to him for taking a couple of hours to speak to writers and fans. He’s an excellent public speaker and a born storyteller, so I had a lot of fun listening to him. Unfortunately, this lunch was sort of a sad time for me as it marked the end of the New Bern Literary Symposium. I very seldom get a chance to connect with other writers and this symposium made me realize how much I miss that. I plan to seek out new opportunities as often as possible in the future.

Since I’m officially starting my countdown to publication, I thought I’d give you guys another taste of it. My publisher Lyrical Press has posted one short excerpt on the site. You can read it here: Secrets of the Lotus. However, that seems far too short for you to get a real idea of who these characters are. So to wind up this week’s update, here’s another short excerpt for anyone interested:

Dan shrugged. “I like kids. They complicate life, though, when they’re yours. Maybe when I find the woman I want to spend the rest of my life with, I’ll feel differently.” He looked at her. “How about you?”

Josie hunted for the right words to answer his question and shivered, putting up her coat collar.

“Are you cold?”

She wrapped her scarf around her throat. “A little.”

“C’mere.” He held his arms out.

She hesitated then let him pull her close. He turned her so her back was against him and wrapped his arms around her, completely enfolding her in his embrace. For a moment, they stood that way in a silence he finally broke. “You didn’t answer my question.”

Josie sighed. She felt her body molding itself to him, remembering this embrace from the night before. She wished she could enjoy the warmth and comfort of being close to him without having to concentrate on what she was saying. “We didn’t even discuss marriage. I learned pretty early on he didn’t want to talk about it. The very idea of getting tied down messed up his artistic aura or something.”

“Dumbass.” His voice was a mock growl.

She laughed and turned her head up to look at him. “Doesn’t remind me of anybody at all.”

“I’m different. I never get a chance to meet nice girls. There aren’t that many that travel in my circles.”

“You told me when we first met nobody was out of your league.” Josie arched her eyebrows and added, even though she knew what she was implying, “Are you saying you couldn’t get a nice girl if you wanted one?”

Dan sighed. “Yeah, I’m as much of a dumbass as old Eric. Here I stand with the same terrific girl in my arms and we’re just friends.” He smiled at her. “Completely platonic.”

A rush of feeling washed over her, as if the Northern Atlantic had turned tropical and a tidal wave had overtaken her. In that breathless moment, she wanted desperately to kiss him. The feeling was terrifying and exhilarating at the same moment. In another second, he would bend his head and she would rise up on her tiptoes to meet him…

“Banzai!” Three shadowy forms flung themselves out of the shadows beside the sand dunes.

The importance of the words we use

As a writer, I’m very interested in words. In fact, in my work-in-progress, I use this interest a couple of times to add a new dimension to my female lead character. She’s an educated woman who loves slang, so she sometimes uses really long words and other times she’ll burst out with a slang term that catches her friends off guard.

I’m also interested in the way words are used in the media. Of course, if you follow my blog at all, you know how obsessed I am with the Gulf of Mexico oil disaster. Yesterday I noticed a report that called BP’s stopper and pipe mechanism that is, as of the last report I read this morning, siphoning off about 40 percent of the oil, a “contraption”. No really. And it wasn’t even on a site that should be considered anti-BP or pro-environment. It was a report on MSNBC. You can view it here: MSNBC.

This amused me in a darkly funny way. It was like the reporter was letting just a little of his/her own doubt about BP’s abilities leak through. I’ve read dozens of articles, possibly a hundred or more. The first thing I do once I get my kids off to school is have my coffee and peruse the oil spill news. I read articles from all over. I read articles by Greenpeace, the National Wildlife Federation, The Huffington Post, CNN, NBC, whatever. And I’ve noticed a number of odd word usages, and some that made me downright mad. “Dispersants” as we all know by now, are chemicals, possibly as harmful as the oil itself. When Tony Hayward, Chief Executive of BP, told a newspaper that the amount of oil and dispersant being added to the Gulf of Mexico was “tiny”, I was enraged. You can see that report here: FOX News. An oil slick that is visible from space is not “tiny”, and we can only see what’s on the surface from space. Recent reports have oil plumes stretching miles under the surface. Not tiny. Not small. Big. Bad. Important.

No matter what the issue or how I feel about it, I look at the words being used. How do they make me feel? Who’s putting them out there? The media’s use of “contraption” might make me feel less than confident that BP can do anything at all to clean up the mess they’ve made. BP’s use of “tiny” might be supposed to give me a sense that too much is being made of this thing, but when I examine other sources, I have no choice but to believe my own eyeballs. I’ve seen the oil plumes under the surface, I’ve seen the oil slick on the surface. I’ve seen images of dead dolphins and sea turtles and oil-soaked birds. And recently we were allowed to see the oil pouring from the pipe underwater. It looked evil.

We’re being played by words. “Dispersants.” Right. “Tiny.” Sure. “Siphoning.” Maybe, but is it too late? “Contraption.” Probably the most true word I’ve heard in connection with this event.

Excerpt time!

Hey all! Good news, if you’re waiting with baited breath for the release of Secrets of the Lotus. Lyrical Press, Inc., my publisher, has posted an excerpt. You can read it here: Awesome Excerpt. I totally expect you to be online to download Secrets at midnight on July 5, 2010!

In other news, I had the extreme pleasure of attending two excellent workshops at the New Bern Literary Symposium on Saturday. My thanks to the Craven Arts Council and the organizers of the Symposium. It was so wonderful to have the opportunity to attend such high quality workshops taught by super-fantastic writers here in my own backyard! Speaking of which, a special shout out to the multi-talented, charming and extremely funny (!!!) Ben Watford and Diane Merlin, whose grasp of both the ability to write romantically and the reality of the publishing industry taught me so much. Thank you both for your time and shared wisdom.

Best to all of you, and may you have a fantastic week!

The Marketplace of Ideas

Oh, boy, I hope one of my journalism professors is reading this, because it’ll prove some of what they taught me actually stuck!

Wikipedia defines the “Marketplace of Ideas” as: “a rationale for freedom of expression based on an analogy to the economic concept of a free market.” I couldn’t have put it better. Well, a little more simply, the ideas you talk about the most have more of a chance of existing in our freely expressive society than the ideas you’d rather push under the rug. Make sense? In our capitalistic society, it should.

Unfortunately, I’m not sure some worthy ideas are surviving, and that’s partly due to human nature. We have a herd mentality. We’re influenced by our friends and neighbors and society at large. Often, we’re lulled into submission to ideas we really don’t care for by the fact that “everybody else does it.” Don’t you remember your mom saying, “If everybody else jumped off a cliff, would you do it?” Mom was right. We aren’t lemmings, even if we sometimes act like it.

That’s why I buy organic food as often as possible. Do I like paying $2 for a green pepper? No. And organically grown apples don’t last as long as regular, pesticide-sprayed apples, so I have buy fewer at a time so they don’t go to waste. But I believe that organic food is better for me and the environment (y’all know I support the honeybees!), so I do it whenever possible. Because more and more people are buying organic, grocery stores are stocking more of it and wa-la! The marketplace of ideas at work.

I’d like to encourage everybody who reads this (most days that’s about two or three people, but hey, maybe you can spread the word) to talk about an idea that’s something important to them today. And more than that, do a little research. Look up articles, post interesting ones on your Facebook page or Tweet about them, if you do that. My friends will tell you I’ve been boring the hell out of them with all the articles I’ve posted about the Gulf of Mexico oil disaster. (I won’t call it a spill anymore — spill reminds me of milk, and that ain’t milk out there killing dolphins and sea turtles.) I won’t stop googling it anytime soon, either. It’s important to me that this subject not be swept under BP’s multibillion dollar rug. And if everybody stops looking, that’s what will happen.

So Google or Yahoo or whatever you do. And if you don’t do any of that, find a paper or magazine that has an article in it about something you believe in. Because, believe me, Big Brother is watching, but we can use him to do good if we put our minds to it.

Beautiful, Gorgeous, Lovely!

Just saw an advance copy of my upcoming ebook Secrets of the Lotus and those are the only words I can think of to describe it! Stay tuned for more info about the release. I’ll pass it along to you as soon as I have it.

Update

Sorry to take so long with this update. Work in general has been difficult for me this week as I’ve had a hard time concentrating on anything. Whenever I sit down at the computer, I have to check on the Gulf of Mexico oil spill and I’m often sidetracked by that for some time. How could something so awful happen and how come it’s not on everybody’s mind 24-7? Are we really so shallow we can forget so easily about death and destruction in our own backyard? Shouldn’t Americans be watching each development with baited breath, much as we’ve watched so many catastrophes unfold before it?

But I digress.

Back on the writing front, I approved my galleys for Secrets of the Lotus, so yay! Now Lyrical Press works a little magic on it and turns it into an ebook, which is scheduled for release on July 5, 2010. You can check out a sneak peek here: Secrets of the Lotus.

Next weekend I’m looking forward to attending the New Bern Literary Symposium. I’ve signed up to attend two workshops on Saturday, including one on Paranormal Romance. Should be a lot of fun and I’m really looking forward to it.

Finally, I’m still working hard on my next novel. This one’s been much more difficult to write than Secrets of the Lotus was, despite the fact that I’m certain I’ve got a good feel for the story and the characters. I keep finding ways to shift the focus a little and make it better, though, and that usually entails going back over the 40,000-some words I’ve already written, cutting here and inserting there. I can’t exactly say this one has been as fun to write as Secrets was, but I do believe it will be better. If I ever finish it.

Not in my ocean, please.

Soapbox time.

Okay, it’s another instance of “not in my back yard”. But honest-to-God, today I watched my children playing on the beach and I wanted to cry. They ran and swam in the water and built sandcastles and chased each other around, laughing. So much joy.

But what if the time comes when that’s no longer possible?

It could happen and the thought terrifies me. By lifting the moratorium on offshore drilling in my state, the president I helped elect may have numbered the days we have left to play on pristine beaches.

The number of days we have left may be even less than you think, too. The oil slick in the Gulf of Mexico is growing by the day because Big Oil thought they’d never have to worry about an oil rig blowing up. Big Oil thought they didn’t need to have a fail safe.

Big Oil was wrong and the ecology and economy of at least four states are suffering. Fishermen can’t fish in oily waters. Fish can’t live in oily waters. Water birds can’t fly with oily wings.

Now scientists and environmentalists fear the oil will get caught in the Gulf Stream and be carried around Florida and up the Eastern seaboard. Thousands of miles of coastline may be affected. Including mine. Including the beach I took my children to today.

Right now I look out on crystal blue water. Seagulls glide effortlessly over the rich ocean beneath them. If I sit still long enough, a dolphin or two may pass by. How much longer do we have?

If you’d like to help preserve America’s shining seas, click here: Environment America.

If you’re from North Carolina, you can find more information about preserving our coast here: Environment North Carolina.

Update

A quick update on the writing front. First of all, thanks to my blog “guests” from my last post. That post got me an unprecedented (and unexpected) 71 views over the course of two days. I highly recommend the writing of those ladies who were kind enough to help me out. They’re all extraordinarily talented, and I’ve been fortunate enough to have a chance to learn from each and every one of them.

Second, if you’re curious about my book, you can find a little sneak peek by clicking on this link: Lyrical Press Store. For now, there’s just a short blurb, but they’ll have an excerpt up soon.

Finally, I am currently looking at the galleys of my book! Exciting, huh? It’s really just a .pdf file, but it’s a little preview (for me) of what the finished product will be like. Less than a week after finishing the final round of edits, I’m now proofing the galleys. By the time I finish this round, I will have read my book completely through at least four times! I’m on Chapter 4 and haven’t found a single typo yet.

Pretty cool.

What do I write about?

“So, what do you write about?”

I usually dread being asked that question, although it’s far from unreasonable. I dreaded being asked about my writing so much that for several years after I started writing seriously, I avoided mentioning my writing at all. I did tell one friend early on, who patted me on the shoulder and said encouragingly that it was good that I had such a neat “hobby”.

Incredibly, this discouraged me so much I immediately clammed up about my writing.

However, when I got serious about publishing a novel, it occurred to me that this particular method wasn’t going to work wonders for sales. I had to let the cat out of the bag, and not just to my close friends. I had to let the world in on the fact that I write. And if I was going to do that I needed to come up with a sensible answer to the writer’s most dreaded question: What do you write about?

Problem is, all my answers sound very trite. “Love.” “Romance.” “The psychological intricacies of a loving sexual relationship between a man and a woman.” Okay, that last one isn’t trite, it’s just silly and I could never say it with a straight face.

In search of an answer for myself, I asked some women writers I am lucky enough to call friends for their answers. Here they are, in the order in which they were received:

Lisa McMann, author of the best-selling trilogy Wake, Fade and Gone: “I write about the underdog.” Want to read a story by Lisa? Try this one: The Day of the Shoes.

Didi Wood: “This question always makes me think of a scene in Clint Eastwood’s Unforgiven, where retired gunslinger Will Munny asks biographer W.W. Beauchamp: ‘A writer? What do you write … letters an’ such?’

“I write fiction – stories and novels. My writing tends toward the literary, in that it’s focused more on character than plot. Longing and a desire for connection seem to be prevalent themes (I know that only because a friend pointed it out – I’m horrible with the big-picture, summary-type stuff). I write what moves and entertains and haunts me, with the hope that it will have the same effect on readers. The simple answer, I suppose, is that I write what I want to read.

“(I should add that it took me two hours to compose that succinct little answer – that will give you a sense of how tough the question is for me. I removed the bits where I say what I do NOT write – who wants to be defined by negation? – and the parts where I bitch about my other favorite questions, including, “What’s it about?” and “Have I seen anything you’ve written?” and “Do you get paid?”)”

Want more from Didi? (Trust me, you do!) Check out this story: Home Again.

(Note: My next answer came from an excellent writer I have known for years, Avital Gad-Cykman. However, I hesitated to print what she answered because I wasn’t sure if she was answering my request for an answer or the question itself. She assured me this is her answer when presented with the opportunity.)

Avital Gad-Cykman: “I’m sorry, but I’m really allergic to this question…” You can find lots of Avital’s elegant fiction online for free by Googling her, but here’s one to get you started: Crystal and Gold.

Debbie Ann Ice: “Let’s see, I usually say, ‘fiction’. Then there is this eerie silence like they are trying to remember what that is. Then they say, “what kind of fiction?” My response is “mostly short stories, but I like novels too.” Usually I change the subject before they start the “Are you in the New Yorker? Do you have a novel published?” But people talk fast here and changing the subject is hard. I sometimes tell them where to go to find my stories. And if I send them the url below, they tend to stop calling me.” Curious? Check it out: Dead Crows.

Marcia Lynx Qualey, who lives in Cairo, Egypt, where she teaches a fiction workshop and maintains the literary blog Arabic Literature (in English): “When answering in Arabic, I sometimes say ‘qusas,’ (stories), although this implies that I write for children. Sometimes I say ‘adab’ (literature), but this seems too snotty. Usually, I just say that I write for a ‘journal fi Amreeka.’

“In English, I make out that I’m just a book critic, and say that I review for magazines (which is true, but obviously not the whole of my writerly identity). It’s much more comfortable than explaining that I see myself as a–good grief!–artist.”

You can find one of Marcia’s stories here: Creation.

Alicia Gifford: “When I’m asked about my writing, more specifically, ‘What do you write?’ I say I write short fiction. Because I do! The next question that invariably comes is, ‘Have you ever been published?’ ‘Yes!’ I say. ‘Google me.’ Sometimes, if the look on my querier’s face is still blank, I might add that I write short stories like what they feature in The New Yorker. ‘Have you been in The New Yorker?’ ‘No,’ I say, ‘not YET.'” Find out why I think Alicia will have a story in The New Yorker sooner rather than later: Desilu, Three Cameras.

Bailey Hunter, founding member of The Horror Library and creator of Dark Recesses Press: “When I tell folks I write, of course the first question is ‘What do you write?’ I desperately want to say WORDS, but I know this won’t do. It’s like when my kids ask me what’s for supper and I say FOOD. Apparently that’s not enough info.

“So instead I say I like to write ‘literary horror’. That is usually good for a few blank stares followed by ‘Oh. You mean like those Jason movies?’ Uhhh…Yeah. No, not like those. I like to write scary stories that cause you to think, to feel. Cool creep instead of instant gag reflex.

“Next question is ‘Have you published anything I would have seen?’ Answer: Probably not since you’ve just compared all horror to Friday the 13th.”

Bailey’s stories have appeared online and in print. (Check out The Horror Library Volume 1, which also features a story by yours truly.) For a very brief look at Bailey’s fiction that’ll leave you wanting more, try: Price of Immorality.

Ellen Meister, author of Secret Confessions of the Applewood PTA and The Smart One: “When people ask, ‘What do you write?’ I usually answer, ‘Novels.’ This is invariably followed by the dreaded, “What genre?”

“I wish I had an easy answer, like ‘mystery’ or ‘thriller’ or ‘romance.’ But each of my books can be categorized in a different way. My first, SECRET CONFESSIONS OF THE APPLEWOOD PTA, can easily be called ‘mom lit.’ I’m fine with that, but my second book, THE SMART ONE, has a childless protagonist. That one is more accurately called a ‘sister story.’

“Both of these books employ a lot of humor, but I can’t call myself a writer of comic novels since my next book in the pipeline, THE OTHER LIFE, is pretty serious, and even has a paranormal element. I suppose they could all be called ‘women’s fiction,’ and I’m fine with that, but really despise the dismissive reaction that usually gets.

“What to do? I think from now on I’ll tell people I write mainstream fiction, give them a free bookmark, and let them figure out the rest on their own.”

If you’d like to get a free taste of Ellen’s work (I highly recommend it), check out this story: Finding Cooper. If you’re like me, however, and just a short story isn’t enough, you can find a synopsis of her upcoming novel here: The Other Life.

Well, at least I know my friends and colleagues have the same problems answering questions about their writing that I do. And talking to them has helped me come up with an answer. So ask me again.

“What do you write about?”

“Thank you for asking. In a fiction workshop a long time ago, I was told to write about what I know. I know about being a woman, so I write about women and the relationships they have with the world around them, often romantic, but sometimes familial, like between mother and child or sisters and brothers.”

Whatcha think about that answer?