Category Archives: Thoughts

Forced Breathing Moments

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Hello, and welcome back. Not you! Me. I feel like I’ve been on a trip, which, in a way, I have. It all started Saturday when my oldest developed a high fever and a cough. This persisted throughout Sunday, Monday and Tuesday, by which time my youngest had developed the same thing. I hate fevers in my kids. Fevers scare me, but a trip to the pediatrician reassured me that it was “just” a virus. Not even the flu, so maybe that Flu-Mist thing does work.

At any rate, my trip began Sunday night. My son’s fever hit 105 that night and I decided that to be closer to him, I needed to sleep on the couch. Understand, this couch is not the most comfortable, but I’ve slept on it before with no ill effects. Well, once I was sure my son’s temp was down, I collapsed on that cursed couch and slept like a log, waking on Monday with a huge pain in my neck. No school for the kids, so I had the great joy of trying to keep them occupied while holding a heating pad against the throbbing muscle on my neck. I also got to run errands and pick up groceries while trying not to turn my head to the left. Have you ever tried changing lanes and checking your blind spot without turning your head to the left? Not easy.

The pain was worse on Tuesday, so I sent my middle son off to school, keeping my oldest and youngest home since they were both still running fevers. I foisted those two off on my babysitter and left for the doctor since it was even hard to swallow at this point. He very kindly gave me prescription for a muscle relaxant and pain reliever. I started taking them Tuesday afternoon and whoa! If I’d started the trip on Sunday, the plane really took off on Tuesday. Figuratively, because I haven’t been able to do more than stumble around my house like a ghost since then. I couldn’t drive and had to depend on friends to get my kids to and from school. Thankfully, we had plenty of food in the house, but I couldn’t cook it to save my life. I opened my computer a few times, but for the most part I couldn’t work. I stared at Facebook some, but my brain was so dulled by the drugs, I couldn’t concentrate on anything.

So, long story short, I managed to hurt myself while sleeping. How do you hurt yourself while sleeping? This could only happen to a 40-year-old mother of three. While I was taking the medication I realized something: I must come to terms with the fact that my body is falling apart. Also, I’ve decided I really don’t understand anyone who takes prescription drugs for fun.

Well, everybody’s pretty much over the virus thing now, and I’ve decided it’s time to get off the narcotics. My forty-eight hour breathing moment is almost done, and I’m actually hoping to get back to normal tomorrow. I’m glad so many of you have read Maryanne Stahl’s wonderful interview about names. If you missed it, you can still find it here: A Rose is a Rose?: Maryanne Stahl. You might also want to check out the interviews with A.J. Brown and Joe Young. And don’t forget, next week I’m hosting the very talented Ellen Meister whose novel THE OTHER LIFE comes out on February 17, 2011!

A New Year: Happy 2011

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I’m only twelve hours into the new year but I’ve already broken one of my resolutions. Remember that 5K I first thought I’d run, then decided I’d walk with my kids? I didn’t make it. I’ve been fighting a cold for the past week and it got the better of me today. I wasn’t totally certain I’d even make it without a fit of coughing, so I stayed home. I have to admit, I’m a little disappointed, though.

Still, I am focusing on the positive. My HONEOWP initiative. My friend A.J. Brown blogged about it today, making him a true HONEOWP, but then I already knew that. Check out his blog here: Type A.J. Negative. So, with A.J. and Steve, my HONEOWPs now number three including me. And we’re only one day into the new year.

And I’m not giving up on the 5K, either. I plan to walk at least three miles with my kids today and I’m going to keep an ear out for another organized walk/run in the coming weeks. Maybe I’ll even stay well long enough to train to run it this time! In the meantime, I’m ready for the marathon of this year. I’ve simplified my resolutions to one: Face every challenge with everything I’ve got. If only because it won’t do any good to do anything else.

Has it really been that long?

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Wow. Ten days since my last update is really inexcusable, but, truthfully, I’ve been a bit of a hypocrite. I really haven’t been practicing my breathing moments lately. I went straight from self-editing WINTER SOLSTICE to participating in National Novel Writing Month. I started a week late and have made up a lot of ground by averaging more than 2,000 words a day since then. However, I’m still lagging behind at 20,734 words when I need to be at 23,334. I think I’ll manage to catch up this week, though, and I’m really happy about that.

I’m also thrilled with the way the novel is progressing. I’ve tentatively titled it DUCKS IN A ROW and the main character is one of the most selfish people I’ve ever written about. Seriously, I love her and I sympathize with her, but she really expects to get away with a lot. She’ll redeem herself in the end, though.

So what with writing DUCKS and editing WINTER and promoting SECRETS, my breathing moments have shortened. I force myself to stop every now and then and look for one beautiful thing to focus on. Right now, it’s my daughter’s sweet face. She’s had the puking virus for the past three days and she’s curled up in her Disney princess sleeping bag sound asleep at the moment. She’s getting a little color back into her cheeks and it just makes me happy to look at her.

It’s not always that easy to find something beautiful, but I guarantee it’s possible. I remember when I was a reporter for The Messenger in Madison, N.C. (That was my first professional writing job and I loved it!) We needed a color picture for the front of the paper but it was March and nobody had taken a good one. My stories were written so I took a camera out in search of something. Everything was gray and muddy. Not much color to speak of except a gorgeous blue sky without a single cloud in it. I came across some workmen putting up new traffic lights. Have you ever noticed how pretty a yellow traffic light is against a clear blue sky? There you go. Beauty in an unexpected place. To this day, I think that front page picture was the highlight of very short journalism career.

So stop and look around. Find something beautiful to focus on and breathe. It’s worth it!

Links of interest:

My friend A.J. Brown has started a new feature on his blog highlighting small presses. His first one is about one of my favorite small presses LIQUID IMAGINATION. Check it out here: Type AJ Negative.

Ellen Meister’s highly anticipated third novel is on pre-sale on Amazon. Order yours now: THE OTHER LIFE.

Steve Lowe is giving away copies of his new novellas WOLVES DRESSED AS MEN and MUSCLE MEMORY: http://steve-lowe.com/2010/11/09/who-wants-a-free-book/.

Kevin Wallis’s short story collection is on sale over at Amazon: BENEATH THE SURFACE OF THINGS.

Joe Young’s debut vampire novel NAME is for sale now. I just got mine, get yours here: NAME.

Happy Halloween

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I’ve always loved Halloween. When I was a kid, I was always a princess. You remember those costumes from the dime store? (Remember the dime store?)

I grew up in the mountains of North Carolina and October was what it should be. A slight chill in the air, leaves rustling on the ground and dark early…like by five-thirty. None of this waiting around until six or six-thirty to see dusk. By five-thirty darkness had fallen and Maple Street (because that’s where everybody went to trick-or-treat) was full of kids.

The candy was great, but what I really remember was the sense of adventure from behind that cheap plastic mask held to my head by a slim piece of elastic. I remember my breath fogging up the inside of the nostrils and struggling to see through the eyeholes that didn’t quite match up to my eyes. I always felt that the real ghosts and goblins hovered somewhere just out of sight. My hand clinging to my father’s on one side and my little brother’s on the other side, I’d listen for them, but all I heard was the cheap satiny material of my long princess “gown” brushing against my blue-jeaned legs.

If I could turn my head fast enough, though, would I see the headless horseman ready to toss his grinning pumpkin head at me? Or a witch with a green face and a wart on her nose cackling from behind a tree? Or just a wispy white ghost … surely that.

I try to remember these things now. Trick or treating is much different. I’m on the other end of the state and quite often All Hallow’s Eve is muggy and warm. We usually spend our evening in the parking lot of the local church instead of going from house to house and my kids’ costumes are much better than my dime store princess costumes. But I know they feel that same thrill of being outside in the dark, that anticipation and feeling that just around the corner adventure might wait…

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On a different note, my friend Ellen Meister’s new and highly anticipated novel THE OTHER LIFE is now available for pre-order on Amazon. Here’s a link, if you want to take advantage: THE OTHER LIFE. I have read both of Ellen’s other novels with a great deal of enjoyment, and I can’t wait for January 20, 2011!